It’s a Goal!

Category: Politics 33 0

It Is a Goal!
Yea, the Mundial is around the corner in Russia, so anything and everything these days revolves around scoring goals. Even advertisers of food seasoning are talking football, how e take consyn ,I no no. Even though the Super eagles are not scoring enough goals yet, we hope the tide turns in Russia. Hmn, it’s a goal indeed, NFF scored against itself. when it signed a $3.75m kit contract with Nike who eventually grossed an estimated $306m selling our jersies! Not when Chelsea signed for $1b in 2016. Mata for anoda time. Lesson: My friend, stop selling yourself cheap, you’re worth more than you think!

It is a goal, like President Buhari’s goal of June 12 holiday declaration. “What a cheap and rubbish goal”, some said. Trust the hearers with sound response to the speakers, (sorosoro ati fesifesi) “but Jonathan scored a similar goal by naming Unilag after MKO, only that the goal was disallowed”. Won gba penalty lo throwing abi na offside?

“Your argument is lame”. Really? On one leg abi both? Na you know abeg! “This one is going to be disallowed by the referee too, wait and see”. After all, Senator Dino Melaye said MKO is no longer a Nigerian, I agree, he’s now a celestial citizen that deserves no honours from the terrestrial beings! But why trust Dino so much? Jumping out of a moving vehicle is injurious to ones head, I mean health.

But truly, the President’s affinity with the dead is legendary, he gave them appointments earlier and now a national honour. Mr. President sir, you deserve some accolades, but remember, it’s the living that will give it. Kindly give more respect to the living in your dead-and-the-living ‘quota system’.

It is a goal, yea! Senate President just scored an own goal(for soccer neophytes, own goal is when you score in your own net as opposed to your opponent’s). But why will anyone do such? Well, sometimes it’s unintended, when you transmit invitation to the transmitter, the transmission will transmit another invitation by transmission ….. wait a minute. Get thee behind me DSS! Perhaps he missed the ball and went for the leg when the referee was looking away, no thanks to the replay camera that revealed it later.

Nobles don’t rob banks they wreck it. But which demands more tact. “Don’t ask me, it’s dependent on the level of talent for thievery or wreckage. Some could even combine the honours”. Some even allude to some old standing unsavoury verbiage of imminent disgrace from father to son! Hmn… So the senate threatened with the red card, the crowd is cheering, while others are mourning. I still dey come.
It’s a goal as the singing canary and self acclaimed political attackers and defenders had been shooting sporadically and indiscriminately before now, but now they’ve torn the political football net with Offa robbery. I still dey look!

It’s a goal, by who? I don’t know yet, but one will soon be scored in Ekiti. A goal for continuity or discontinuity. But you can only continue what you started, Fayemi wants to continue where he stopped, Fayose wants to continue where he stopped by proxy, I’m confused. Well, 8 months salary arrears is nothing at least the bridge is there, ask the Ekiti lawmakers who have their plenary sessions under the bridge. “But I thought under the bridge is for the destitute in Lagos”? Which Lagos, even though Lagosians won’t score an own goal by sitting under the bridge but Ambo’s Lagos bridges house flowers now.

Wait a minute, still in Ekiti. Not too young to run, yet a 74 year old ran faster to the deputy governorship candidacy of APC, whatever happened to the glory of the youth which is in their strength! Perhaps the youth aren’t too young to run but definitely ‘too slow to run’. With not too young to run, I think there should be a ‘too old to run bill’ because as e dey go, we go soon dey wake the dead to come rule. I like quarrel pass trouble abi? Anyway, if it’s not Fayose it can not be Fayose, we’ll miss his ponmoing and ewa agoying and occasional oguroing. It makes for some relief on the theatrical stage called Nigeria. Caveat: Check those words in no dictionary please!

It’s a goal, APC just kept scoring own goals round the states. This could be dangerous, ask Godwin Odiye who scored an own goal against Nigeria in 1977 that dashed the hope of our first World Cup qualification. It could also spell fatality, ask Andres Escobar of Columbia who was shot dead for an own goal in 1994. It’s so bad that the political referee is no longer running around the APC pitch, he’s seated by the APC goal, knowing full well that no matter the dribbles na own goal las las. Now his hand is in the pocket, I guess he’s about to brandish the red card.

What about the huge own goals arising from herders killing. How many goals will be needed to cancel it out, when will the scoring start, when will the killing stop?
Still about scoring, I’m yet to see a single aspirant poster against Ambode, na walkover? Pretty much against PMB but for many uncoordinated aspirants inadvertently aiding him to victory by splitting the votes. Please! PDP, don’t die on us, withal the opposition, withal the challenge, withal the alternative, arise! I pray the space will be fair and competitive enough, it sweetens victory. There’s sense in (non)sense. THINK!

‘Dapo Omojola

www.dapoomojola.com

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