How I feel like randomly musing today!
A lot of wonderful events had gone down recently and one of them was the Olympic Games. Don’t tell me you missed that! Nigerians said we had a Gold and a Silver in Adekunle Gold and Joke Silver. Funny! But for real the Siasia boys bailed us out with a bronze, ‘e be as e get’. What is funnier is that the kits for the said event arrived three days to the end of the games and the red-beret-wearing Dalung still remains the sport minister. Chai!
Nigerian magic there, our usual ill preparation for an event that gave us a four year notice. (O bo loo omo kei jeriru) not speaking in tongues. It translates, shame on the child eating ash.
If you’re curious what language that was, ask Oga Fayose. Talking about Fayose, I heard him recently struggling to convince us that he’s still ‘there’. Then I begin to wonder if all was well, why do you need to be reminded that you’re no longer as outrageously audible as a ‘Chinko’ Phone, battery down?
Abeg who see Dasuki? Na wa o! See how life be. Pastorally, I will say it is well, but for real, ‘na who e touch go know’, he probably must have won himself a free accommodation and feeding in detention that will last the life span of this administration. And suddenly Oga Presido globetrotting stopped, he eventually heard us after the infection was fixed, did you notice? That’s good, but what with this talk that people now code garri and groundnut as Buhari and Osibajo. Oh! E no reach your side? If yes I think Magu needs to visit you. Change ‘don’ change people I kid you not. Wetin be summer, people are happily enjoying it in their villages. ‘Owambes’ are fast turning to ‘kosinmbe’.
When last did you complain that your neighbour is disturbing with generator? ‘E nor fit, because na measure e measure the fuel put’. Or all these, ‘I was in the neighbourhood, just thought to branch, ‘for wia’? At N145/litre? ‘If any man branch now, na for him bank branch to go check whether the N18,000 minimum wage dropped, 6 months, some still dey open mouth for air’!
I overheard that National Assembly members on break couldn’t even go to their constituencies, you ask why? No money to throw around. Still asking why? ‘You no notice say the Sherriff at Aso Rock closed the cookie jar’, he even cut some hands inside the jar. Talking about Sherriff, ‘man no even understand’, it’s so confusing that the courts are also confusingly confusing. ‘PDP, una just free APC like dat, kontinuu dey score own-goals! Whoever pushed the self-destruct button, some say it’s Ameachi, others say it’s Fayose and Wike, some say Sherriff or even APC ‘why una dey fall hand’. Who go come dey check Oga Presido and APC now?
Anyway, wishing PDP sooner recovery, sorry SSP, soonest recovery ‘jare’. Why ask who is SSP, ask your Uncle ‘biko’. ‘I no be’ millennium child. ‘So now, na two candidates PDP go produce for Edo and Ondo’? Fingers crossed. ‘Na this finger still dey crossed when a dog ran across, Kamari’! ‘Buhari ke’, this dog not only answers Buhari but has it inscribed on it, well, the owner is now cooling off in jail not being able to meet his N50,000 bail condition. ‘Abeg, e offend’? What about his fundamental human rights? Let’s wait on the courts.
‘How light for your area now’? You stay in one corner of your abode and claim to know that electricity generation increased itself by itself on its own. I love such assumptions.
‘And for ya mind, I dey speak vanacular abi’? ‘No see my fight abeg, teacher no teach me none sense’.
Well, jokes apart, there’s is a cacophony of abnormalities that calls for urgent attention in our polity. There’s usually sense in none sense.
Long live Nigeria!